I finally now understand those people that fall asleep on the subway. Long ago these people confused me and would think to myself -why the hell is that person asleep on this downtown subway?? Don't they know where this train is heading and they can get killed??? I now get it. I think I can fall asleep going home. I - We- Us-are EXHAUSTED.
It's our fault- we never should have named a child after "fiery one." Wonder if we can change his name to Walter, or Larry or something that sounds like a quiet man. Little Aidan likes to SCREAM when his diaper is changed, when he pees, when he wants food and when he wants to be comforted. And he loves to be comforted c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y.
I told him the other night at 3:30 a.m.-while he was scccrreeaaammming that he was going to get us evicted and all four of us would all be living in a box somewhere. Gosh, I hope he knows I am kidding. Thankfully, his sister is a bit easier to handle. She cries a bit when she needs something. I think she already knows her brother is a bit of a handful. I have promised to buy her a pony if she continues to be easy to handle. I hope she also knows I am kidding, I can't see us getting her a horse. Bad parenting skills already.
Usually, at night (early morning) M and I have shifts of taking care of the babies. We switch shifts, and give the other a break when tears or "I am a bad mother" comes blurting out in a tear-whine- combo. Last night, she relieved me of duties when she can tell I was about to crash or have a mommy breakdown. We knew 2 newborns were going to be exhausting, but wow...when they both start screaming at one time and you are running on fumes it's tough.
Pictured above is the more quiet baby (for now).
2 comments:
So nice to have you back. It's so amazing to me how absolutely clear it is (at least in the "Peanuts" photos which one is girl and which is boy). His features so masculine and hers feminine. I wonder how single mothers to twins manage. Seems impossible, but you do what you have to do, I guess. Hang in there! Yes, get that girl a pony!!!
The exhaustion is awful. Awful awful awful. It DOES get a lot better. And you will have your nights back. And dinners alone. Hell, the chance to eat. The beginning is just so rough. I have about a million points of unsolicited advice and experiences to share, whenever you are ready....
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