Sunday, February 22, 2009

good night gorilla


Lately, like that sad chimp that was killed by it's owner/friend in Stamford- I too want a glass of wine and a xanx. Who the hell keeps a creature like that in their home? A chimp won't be satisfied with some bagel chips and a couple of episodes of the view, for christ's sake.

Wow. Slum dog just won for sound mixing. Exciting. I only saw Milk this year- an amazing film.

Our daughter is starting to walk. I wonder if it will get even more exhausting? Cannot imagine. I have not had time off (other than legal holidays and illnes) since I returned to work 6 months ago. Both M and I are beat. Whatever...whine whine whine.

go baby. go.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Cool news...

Things to do:

1. Head with M to Connecticut
2. Get married
3. Have it recognized in NYS (as Governor Patterson's order allows),
4. Apply for health insurance for her at place of employment
5. Wait for denial of health insurance
5. Sue

Federal judge rules denial of health coverage to same-sex spouse unconstitutional

A federal judge has deemed unconstitutional the government’s denial of healthcare coverage and other benefits to the same-sex spouse of a Los Angeles public defender, calling into question the validity of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act.

9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt said the federal government’s refusal to grant spousal benefits to Tony Sears, the husband of deputy federal public defender Brad Levenson, amounted to unlawful discrimination on the basis of sex and sexual orientation.

“Because there is no rational basis for denying benefits to the same-sex spouses of [Federal Public Defender] employees while granting them to the opposite-sex spouses of FPD employees, I conclude that the application of [federal statutes] so as to reach that result is unconstitutional,” Reinhardt wrote in an order to the U.S. Courts administration to submit Levenson’s benefits election form. The ruling was issued Monday and published Wednesday.

“The denial of federal benefits to same-sex spouses cannot be justified simply by a distaste for or disapproval of same-sex marriage or a desire to deprive same-sex spouses of benefits available to other spouses in order to discourage them from exercising a legal right afforded them by a state,” Reinhardt wrote.

Neither Reinhardt’s ruling nor one in a similar case involving a 9th Circuit employee issued by appeals court Chief Judge Alex Kozinski establishes precedent that would have to be followed by courts hearing other challenges to the Defense of Marriage Act or the Federal Employee Health Benefits Act, which seek to deny federal benefits to same-sex spouses.

Reinhardt and Kozinski handled the respective complaints from Levenson and from 9th Circuit staff lawyer Karen Golinski in their capacity as dispute resolution officials within the federal judiciary, whose employees are prohibited from suing in federal court. Other federal employees denied benefits for same-sex spouses could sue under Title VII and other anti-discrimination statutes.

With same-sex marriage legal or recognized in only a handful of states and on hold in California since the passage of Proposition 8 in November, the number of cases similar to Levenson’s is probably small. Reinhardt said he didn’t know whether similar appeals had been raised by federal employees elsewhere in the judicial system. Still, legal scholars see Reinhardt’s reading of the Defense of Marriage Act as a bellwether on the constitutionality of that law and potentially others that seek to discourage or discriminate against homosexual partnerships.

“I think that this is a very important case in terms of the application of the Constitution to sexual orientation discrimination, especially with regard to partners,” said Erwin Chemerinsky, dean of the UC Irvine law school.

While noting that Reinhardt’s ruling doesn’t directly affect the issue of gay marriage, Chemerinsky said he considered it “a key case toward creating a constitutional right for benefits for same-sex partners.”

Levenson, who married Sears on July 12 during last year’s five-month window when gay marriage was legal in California, applied for spousal benefits three days later but was denied by the 9th Circuit Executive Office on grounds that the Defense of Marriage Act and the Federal Employee Health Benefits Act prohibit extending benefits to same-sex spouses.

Levenson appealed to the 9th Circuit’s Standing Committee on Federal Public Defenders, which Reinhardt chairs, with the argument that his office’s dispute resolution plan expressly prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex and sexual orientation. The Defense of Marriage Act was passed by the Republican-controlled Congress 13 years ago and signed into law by President Clinton. The act identified three objectives: defending and nurturing the institution of traditional, heterosexual marriage; defending traditional notions of morality; and preserving scarce government resources.

In his 15-page ruling, Reinhardt debunked the first two objectives, stating that “gay people will not be encouraged to enter into marriages with members of the opposite sex by the government’s denial of benefits to same-sex spouses.” On the cost-saving objective, Reinhardt deemed the potential savings from discriminating against gays “insignificant” and “founded upon a prohibited or arbitrary ground.”

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

tick tock


For 2009- I promised to spend more time in our box sized apartment. The holidays were a mess of driving here to there back to there over to nowhere back to here. Soooo tired of putting crap in the car and unpacking the babies stuff from the car. Well, to be honest, I get the car out of the lot…then my partner packs the entire car.

Not sure where the last 2 months have gone. Oh yeah, Thanksgiving family driving back and forth; Christmas shopping (twin received a wooden sled); A trip to Macy’s Santaland in 10 degree weather (I hate crowds); M made us all attend Christmas eve Mass (where a woman asked me if the “other lady was my sister” – I responded that she was my partner…oh I love coming out during mass; Christmas schlepping to 2 states (not doing that next year); M losing her job and wrapping up employment; All of us getting the stomach virus; Father hospitalized for a week with more heart problems; New years eve (hate that freaking holiday); M and had one date – went to Brandywine River Museum (Andrew Wyeth died a week later. We are bad luck); Vermont trip over MLK weekend...on the way during a pit stop-son our protectile vomitted me all over me in a resturant. Apparently he had a virus we were not aware of....

I really miss being alone sometimes. Note to my partner: Subway time spent going to and from work does not count as alone time. Right now she is at a friend's 40th birthday party. I am gloriously alone...parnoid that the yelps coming from the street are the babies waking up again. So bad is my craving for a bit of solitude that when I was watching Notes on a Scandal again....I was jealous of Judi Dench, the part when she is creepy in the bathtub (after her cat is dead) and comments how difficult and lonely it is to design a weekend around the single event of dropping laundry off a dry cleaner....oooh how I would love to have that problem for just one day. I hope that isn't a jinx. Love love love the family...just miss an little bit of me.

Please Angelina, Brad, Those Duggar people, and the chick with 8 babies in California- stop the madness.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Change.bullshit

I want to throw my shoe at the television. I am watching Obama on Cspan. Mr. Change.gov is talking about changing the way we handled the last 8 years of health care, and "American families."

I guess he doesn't give a shit about my family. Exhibit A-Z: Choosing Rick Warren to give his invocation at his inauguration. Mr. Anti-Equal rights will be giving the big ole Christian prayer on January 20Th. Mr. Prop 8. Mr. I don't give a shit if you cannot PURCHASE health care for your partner come this summer.

Change DOT More Bullshit.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

hey mother can you spare a dime?


My partner just asked me while watching that god-awful Grey's Anatomy (what happened to that show?) when will I update my blog? I don't have a blog. On rare occasions I go to some website and type.

The babies are sleeping right now. They do not enjoy sleeping in the thick of the night. On rare occasion they sleep all night long. Last night was a cluster$!@#$@# of them alternatively waking up and torturing me. Yes me. All about me. M doesn't grumble at getting up at 2, 2:22, 3:07, 4:02, and 4:55. Sometimes her motherly perfection makes me feel like a bad mother. I do think I swear less in the middle of the night, a touch less...maybe.

M got severed from her job last week. Oh how I wish I could write horrible things about a certain human and post her address. But, I won't. Karma baby karma. M will receive severance (with health insurance) til about June. We gotta crank out our adoption papers for the babies, otherwise they will not have health insurance after June. Oh I love this freaking nation. While I can cover my children (once formally adopted) I cannot cover my partner. Maybe just maybe by some Christmas miracle, President Obama will allow same sex marriage in this nation. hahahhahaaa not gonna happen. God, those gays are so crazy wanting to protect their families. So freaking demented we are...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

leaves

Getting 4 people ready in the morning to leave the house for outside employment and school (really daycare) is beyond stressful. After not sleeping much of the nights, and having to change, feed, wrangle, sometimes change again, wrangle, comfort, sometimes feed again, dress, wrangle, dress, comfort, get stroller ready, bring stroller outside nyc walk-up steps with 2 babies in the morning is a k-i-l-l-e-r. Oh yeah, then you have yourself to get ready. ugh.

We are still looking to hire someone hopefully to start in November. zzzzzzzzzzzz. Must remember to actually interview more people in next 2 weeks.

Thankfully, we have a holiday weekend. We are heading to Vermont to see some leaves and cheese. Yeaaaaah. My plan since the collapse of the world economy is to head permanently to VT. I think we can get a nice, affordable old house. Just like Diane Keaton did in Baby Boom, we will make and sell our organic applesauce, or cheese logs or something and support ourselves. I proposed this to M and she thinks I am kidding. Sooo not kidding.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

goodbye september

Goodbye September...I hate that month for many reasons. Shitty things happen in that month.

The last 2 weeks were torture. Both babies got very sick with temps reaching 104.1 Obviously, they didn't go to day care and my parents watched them for most of the week. My mother slept on the couch, while my dad traveled back and forth. For a week we were up most of the night with the sick babies, and I am an unstable witch with no sleep. I pick fights and bicker. Oh it's wasn't pleasant. To add to our fun house- our cat was vomiting all week and all over (note to self: don't change his cat food)...Then I got sick and remain pretty freaking ill. Later in the week M got food poisoning from a business lunch (note to self: remind her that putting lobster on a cob salad is bizarre and gnarly).

We both missed some work, and just when we thought they were feeling better: M hears a bark at midnight. I told her it was nothing and sounded like a hair ball. Wisely, she chooses not to listen to me. She gets up and poor aidan cannot breathe well and looks fearful. Oh a call to the doctor, midnight run to a pharmacy, as it turns out our boy has croup. It's a hot mess. We are sooooo tired. After a few days of liquid steroids he is feeling better.

Oh and we are interviewing a nanny/sitter tomorrow. Thousands for day care and in the end- you have to call in sick? We forgot to consider that little factor.

I must now go watch Sarah Palin make cringe worthy comments during the debate. In some ways I feel bad for her...