E=sahm2

I'm scared. I don't reallllly miss the rat race. Bigger problem with analyzing and grappling over: Would I rather care for my babies 24-7 vs. or am I just a work slacker????....is M wants to leave the work force and stay at home too.

That won't work. Let's do the math: 2sahm+2babies+1mortgage+lifeexpenses=nofuckinway.
So uh we got so more talking to do. M loves it when I hash everything over and over to death. This should be fun.

Our drive to Charlotte was not as tortuous as we expected. Since the little guy screams when he's in the car seat- we decided to feed, change and put them in bed in their car seats and leave NYC at 8:30 p.m. After 80 cups of coffee you too can drive thru to Texas or something. There was one strange coffee/bathroom break at 4 am in the middle of North Carolina. Some scary peeps gambling and bugs flying around. Whatever. We did not stop there on our way back in the middle of the freaking night.

I have failed to get these children on a real schedule. If they nap at the same time it's a lucky accident. Gotta work on that...stat.

Independence day

I am the worst stay at home mom to have a blog. The pits. It's my Independence Day resolution to update this thing once-in-a-freaking while. I usually create 95 entries in my head- where they remain.

Speaking of Independence Day- I realized that I am one angry American. We brought the babies to a July 4th parade on Block Island. Some freckled face kid carrying a baseball mitt and an American flag doesn't even get a cheer from me. Ugh. Trust me, I don't want our kids joining al queda, but I really don't like the flag waving. Oh I will skip this tirade. Surprisingly however, I did not gag when M dressed the babies in flag outfits. Karl Rove would be thrilled.

Above are the bambinos in their Republican gear.

Our son has broken finally kicked to death his bouncy rain forest chair. The one that has saved ME from having meltdowns. Granted I had to fake him into getting strapped down in that chair. Speaking of faking it- I use this really fake high pitched voice on aidan to get him excited about being strapped down in a chair, stroller and car seat. He hates to be confined. The screams that come out of him are scary. At times he drives me to tears. Mairin remains the mellow child. Thank god that she is soooo laid back. Maybe there is something to being "twin B."

Some people at work apparently took bets whether I would return. I enjoy staying home. Wait- I am faking it again. Enjoy is the wrong word. There are times, hours, even days that I enjoy (love?) it. There are moments or days when it's sooooo f$Q#$# hard, incredibly exhausting, and feels at times -thankless. There are no breaks. It is rare when they both nap at the same time. Must work on some schedule for feeding or napping. As of today, there are just no real break in the baby action. Where the hell is Sally Field/Norma Rae when I need her...

What I find suprising is that I catch myself wondering who the hell is this person singing to her children constantly or catch myself laughing at something one of them did. Must get over the 3 year infertility hell. I still feel a bit burnt and I wonder if that is abnormal....?

We are leaving to drive to Charlotte this weekend for my nephew's christening. I was able to secure a letter that I am a "catholic in good standing." I bet I take our lord's name in vain 18 times on the drive down. I am a bit concerned about the long drive with aidan's crying and confinement hang ups. Maybe he will fall asleep south of the mason-dixon line.