diapers, jesus, loons and ponies

M asked me when I was going to update my blog. I wonder if that is how she keeps up with my life?? Kidding. Sort-of. We don’t get the chance to spend much alone time like we use to (earth to me). One of us is always in another room washing bottles, changing a diaper, making dinner, ordering out…But it has gotten much better. The babies actually sleep for extended periods of time and I have free moments of time. It’s lovely.

Last month was busy and stressful. I am on leave for 3 months and will figure out whether I will return. We don't have concrete plans or direction. Bizarre. We will figure it out. I suppose if I wrote anything in the last month- I could have babbled about:

1. Our babies are adorable and growing.
2. In May we used approximately 600 diapers. We aren’t counting dirty diapers but we keep working our way thru the boxes that comprise hold 216 diapers. Our carbon footprint is more like a stampede of cattle. Our son, is our little metro-sexual and screams when is diaper is a bit wet.
3. The babies had their first round of shots. We decided to space out their vaccines a bit because of my autism fears. Indulge me. I do believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and shot JFK from the book depository…
4. A crazy neighbor knocked on my door while M was at home. He told her he heard that I had twins. He then proceeded to ask her if I had "Used a Surrogate?" Oh those crazy new yorkers.
5. We met with a Catholic Priest about christening our children. Oh brother- that deserves a separate entry. The priest was sort of welcoming and said "we are all god's children." Later he did utter the words "Gay agenda...." Oh boy. Let's just say I needed some Blood of Christ after that meeting- uh, I mean red wine.
6. My loving partner thinks our children should be raised Catholic. She mentioned after the meeting with the Priest about them making their “holy communions”. Huh? I am fine lying at their baptism that we will raise them Catholics and thereby pleasing the families. But this is really a stretch.
7. Our daughter is an amazing, patient, tolerant baby and will be getting a pony. She allows me to put her down CONSTANTLY because her brother is screaming. Unfortunately, her brother screams when he is a bit hungry, wet, lonely, and is not entertained 24 / 7. I have a major guilt trip going that she is already developing an eating disorder, self esteem issues and knows that he is getting much more attention.
8. My nephew (and God son) was born and was weighing in nearly at 10 pounds. Back to jesus theme: I have no problem at his christening promising that I would raise him catholic.- it’s the parents desire. No biggie. We are driving with the bambinos down to Charlotte in July for the event. I was told that I need to secure a letter that I am a Catholic in good standing. Damn.
9. Before I left some crazy fine upstanding member of the public threatened to rub out some fellow employees. I was directly dealing with this woman and gosh, felt like we had an understanding. She left a few rambling, threatening messages and notes about “guns kill.” She also mentioned my twins in a very long voice message. Not sure what brain surgeon mentioned that I had twins to an obviously deranged woman....but I think she is harmless. Apparently she is in a psychiatric facility awaiting criminal prosecution (or slap on the wrist).
10. We had our non-denominational baptism and M and I brought them down to the ocean and got them a bit wet.