Thank You.

This afternoon I took aidan and walked to pick up M's prescription. The store was empty. The guy at the Duane Reed counter (usually it's crowded with a small cluster F with people) asked me about my son and whether I had other children. I said that he has a twin sister at home. The guy then asked me what is was like raising twins. Told him him it was kinda hard right now and that it was a treat to be outside for a few minutes. He then said, he was asking because even though he has 2 boys at home, his wife had miscarried twins a little bit ago. His wife, he shared still was having a hard time and they were always wondered what it would be like to have twins.

Jerky me said that I am sorry. Dip-shit that I am, realized how lucky I am to have this beautiful boy below me breathing. He came around the counter, and shook sleeping Aidan's hand. Nice guy. Nicer reminder.

On rare occasion I'll write something and say how hard it has been. What the hell did I think it was going to be? Suck it up lady. I don't think I'm one of those people that's constantly complaining. I'm not. But, I don't want to sound Ungrateful or not thankful. I don't want to be (or appear) as the type of person that has been handed a free shiny Volvo and now complains that the seats aren't heated. It's okay, I can roll down the windows.

Thing is - I am so thankful. I wake mairin up all the time to check that she is still breathing. And I do feel like we hit lotto and some guy in a bad suit from Albany (I guess that's the lottery headquarters?) is going to knock on our door and say it was a mistake. Maybe it's easier to complain. Sounds weird, but saying how beautiful something is harder. I would have a harder time sharing with someone in person, how amazing it is that -right now my daughter is sleeping on my shoulder and how simple and life defining that feels. Or how cute Aidan is that he is lighter sleeper and how he makes these funny goat sounds and we dubbed him -goat boy Maybe it seems corny or exposed. Hmmmmmm