Moving on Up

M has moved up the waiting list and is scheduled to be induced tomorrow evening. Monday. March 10, 2008. Lunes. Year of the Rat.

An old college friend of M's stopped over yesterday. Sharon is single, no children and was chatting about her active dating life. God, am I officially 80 yet? Anyway, She asked how it feels to sit and wait for a profound life altering event to occur??? I said it feels like waiting for a space ship to descend and carry us off to another planet. Luckily, I have been around the block to know- that we will return to mother earth again.

As boring and repetitive as this sounds: I feel sort of numb-nervous. I cannot imagine that we would ever get to this moment. The last 3 years have not been the easiest. But- as any IVF-Gambler knows: This is the big pay-off.

Hope is addictive, even when the fertility clinic psychologist (a mandatory $375.00) leans over and shows you the statistical chart of getting pregnant over 35. Lady, please put your graph away, we get it. We are rolling the dice again...

M is calm, sore and quietly reading the NY Times right now. We have been together long enough that I know she is anxious. She is quiet when nervous. Damn, I admire that. But, I have been around the block to also know- that in an important moment I will be completely there and ready (am I stealing Hillary Clinton's motto)? Whatever.