Waiting in Vain?

I came across a stranger's blog. She described herself as a 'mother first and foremost' and that her son was 'her reason for living.' WTF? Does my childless life have no meaning? If my partner does not give birth to a live child this time around- is it all over for me? for us? The scariest thing is sometimes, I think it might be.

The other night, I said to my gf - if something bad happens again we should just drive to JFK and go to France and live. She instantly said yes. We don't know anyone in France, we don't speak French, and we would not be gainfully employed there. I guess the attraction is their fine wine, artisan cheese and shared hatred of Bush.

Last time around we waited and lost - I responded with white wine, red wine, Vermont and some therapy. None of those things fixed the pain of losing our baby in the 2nd trimester.

So we wait. We argue, we stress, we compromise, we cry, we count, and we wait for the phone to ring with our cvs results.